Calm among the chaos

There are a few genuine times in this whirlwind we call parenting where we truly do “cherish every moment”. Even after a shitty few days, or in my case, weeks, there will come a moment when you feel a love so deep, so consuming, for this little nappy-wearing dictator that you will save in the memory bank and recall next time you feel like you’re drowning.

For me, this 👇🏻 was that moment.

Rory is a terrible sleeper. He only has catnaps through the day (unless he’s in his pushchair) and on a bad night, wakes up hourly and will only go back to sleep after a feed. Self settling is a skill he hasn’t even remotely mastered yet, and so far, is showing no signs of changing.

On this day, he’d had a bad night (so had I, obviously), had just had his 12 week vaccinations and was sleepy and grumpy (again, so was I). I was wearing my old, comfy leggings and unflattering tunic top, not a scrap of make up, and felt (and looked) like death warmed up. Yet we got home from the doctors, had a cuddle (which he never does, since he learned to lift his head up he would much rather look everywhere but me!) and next thing I knew, he was asleep. We stayed like this for 2 hours, and despite the fact that I was desperate for a wee and something to eat, I didn’t move because I loved having my beautiful little boy snuggled up on me. For the first time in several exhausting weeks, I was able to take the time to enjoy not only some peace (and a boxset!) , but Rory as well. This moment made me fall in love with him all over again. Not only did he sleep longer than he had in weeks, but I was doing what I’d felt like I’d been failing to do for weeks – protecting him, soothing him, and being all he needed.

My point is, we’re being told we need to treasure every moment, and feel bad when we don’t, but it’s about finding the right ones. These moments might be few and far between on parenting journeys, so while I was worried that I’d made a rod for my own back on this day and that he wouldn’t sleep in his bed, I really did cherish this moment. It was a “smell the roses” type of moment. I remembered that as the parenting cliches say, they do grow up so fast and everything is a phase (at least, that’s what I keep telling myself…Rory’s bad sleep is just a phase, right?). And if you find a moment in this parenting rollercoaster when all the bad shit going down fades away, take it. Cherish it. Forget “making a rod for your own back”, enjoy the snuggles while they last.