I’ve covered the topic of double entendres in children’s TV before, and so far Fireman Sam seems to be filled with filth, as the above photo shows! Fireman Sam remains Isla’s favourite show so we have to sit through an episode or two most days, and the innuendos just keep on coming, no pun intended…
Station Officer Steele: Cridlington, you’re licking my strawberry sensation!
Station Officer Steele: Now listen Cridlington, I want to win, so you tiddle those winks like you’ve never tiddled before! Elvis: Yes sir, I’ll do my best tiddling ever!
Station Officer Steele: (talking about apple bobbing) You put your hands behind your back and do it with your mouth!
Ben: Stop for a minute Charlie… Charlie: But it’s not quite in yet.
Bronwyn: there’s a storm in the way, I can tell when my seaweed gets damp.
Mike Flood: Help! My tool’s weighing me down!
James Jones: I’ve finished polishing the cucumbers Mrs Price!
Ellie Phillips: Shakey-shakey Sam? Fireman Sam: Shakey-shakey Ellie… 😏
He’s been a very busy boy…
As I mentioned in a previous post, Piggy Wiggy is Isla’s favourite cuddly toy and even though there’s been more additions to her cuddly toy collection (including Baa Baa the sheep and Dave the elephant), Piggy has been number one pretty much since he accompanied her to hospital when she had a chest infection.
Isla love looking at photos of what Piggy Wiggy gets up to, so whenever I’ve been able to, I’ve started taking photos of him in various places. He’s been into the office a few times and I’ve also photographed him playing with his friends and she loves it! So here’s more of Piggy’s adventures…
Hands down, Isla’s favourite cuddly toy is her Piggy Wiggy we bought her from Sainsbury’s over Easter last year. He goes everywhere with her and she loves giving him kisses, and making us give him kisses!
But we don’t let her take him to nursery with her in case he gets lost or one of the other children throws up on him. So sometimes she takes him in the car with her and then leaves him on the seat when we arrive at nursery.
This whole silliness started because one time she left him in the car when we had that horrible cold, snowy weather a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t have her favourite toy left in the cold car all day while I was at work, what if he got cold, or lonely…?! So I brought him into the office with me for the day, much to the bemusement of my colleagues! I took some silly photos to show her what P.Wiggy had been up to that day and she LOVED them!
Someone suggested I make a photo journal of Piggy’s adventures to show Isla what her favourite toy gets up to in the day, so here it is! Here’s just a few examples of how Piggy Wiggy helps me in the office when he comes in…
As it’s Isla’s favourite TV show, we watch a lot of Fireman Sam and to be honest we don’t mind watching it, it’s definitely one of the more bearable kids’ programmes. And some of the little aside jokes and comments the characters come out with do make us snigger (fnar fnar!) Whether or not the writers intentionally add in these little double entendres or it’s just our dirty minds reading too much into innocent comments remains to be seen, but I’ve put together a list of our favourite innuendos (In-Your-End-O…) that have been uttered in episodes of Fireman Sam, rated from 😮(mildly risqué) to 😲 to 😳 😵to 😱 (swoooon) in terms of naughtiness. See what you think…
- Elvis Cridlington: I love sticky foam! 😲
- Dilys Price: I don’t want my frillies flapping all over Pontypandy! 😱
- Bronwyn Jones: Want a fishy nibble? Dilys: Oooh I love a fishy nibble, don’t you Trevor? 😱
- Elvis: We can slide down the pole at the same time Penny! 😮
- Station Officer Steele: My poor little vegetables 😳
- Trevor: Hello Dilys, I bet you can’t wait to get stuck into my sausages! 😵
- Mike Flood: Station Officer Steele, I’ve been tinkering with your flange joints all morning! 😱
- Steele: Cridlington, stop squelching! Elvis: sorry sir, my pants are all wet! 😵
When I had Isla, I swore I’d never become a typical “slummy mummy”, and that my life wouldn’t become completely babyfied. My baby would fit in around me, as well as me around her, and I’d still be me as much as possible.
Oh dear, how naive was I.
So far I’ve managed to avoid going out in public in my pyjamas and remember to brush my hair at least before we go out, but I have to admit to a few of the things I swore wouldn’t happen when I became a mum…
- Consider a trip to the supermarket as a big outing: Doing the food shop with a baby in tow can be at best, a bit hectic and at worst, a frigging nightmare. Last weeks trip to Lidl saw Isla grab my shopping list out of my hand and shove it in her mouth, then kick off both her shoes without me realising so I had to do two laps of the store to find them. I can’t complain really though, luckily Isla is happy to sit in the child trolley seat and watch the world go by, so food shopping isn’t too painful, but it still takes so long that I consider it our main outing for the day and don’t plan much else once it’s done
- Go more than 2 days without washing my hair: My hair tends to get oily the day after I wash it, which is when I tend to wear it in a ponytail then wash it either that night or the following morning. Nowadays though, as it takes over an hour to wash, dry and straighten my naturally frizzy hair, on supposed hair wash days my thought process goes like this: “does it look decent in a ponytail? Yes? Hair wash can wait another day then!”
- Do colouring in: I’ve become slightly addicted to an adult colouring app and happily spend my quiet time when Isla is napping with a cup of tea creating masterpieces like this bad boy. I was crap at colouring when I was a kid as I couldn’t stay inside the lines, but I’m quite a dab hand at this now!
- Wear make up only on special occasions: Pre baby I’d try to wear light make up (some mascara, lipgloss and a bit of foundation) most days, but now I only wear light make up for special occasions, i.e. a work day or if I’m going somewhere nice like out for lunch. I just don’t seem to have the time or the inclination to wear make up for a standard day. Full make up is reserved to nights out, so once every blue moon!
- Google pictures of poo: In my defence, I only did this when Isla was a few weeks old and her poos were all the colours of the rainbow, and I wanted to check that her poos were normal. They were.
- Talk about my baby constantly to my non-mummy friends: I’m sorry guys, I really don’t mean to do this. I’m aware that talking about breastfeeding, poo and weaning is deathly dull for you and I swore I wouldn’t be one of those mums who can only talk about their baby. It’s just that I’m so happy when I see another adult, I tend to spew all my thoughts onto them in one sitting. Plus I’m besotted with my little girl and can’t help but gush about her. So I applaud you for not sighing and rolling your eyes at me when I whip out my phone and say “oh my god, I have to show you this video of Isla!” every time I see you!
- Start a sentence with “well the baby book says…”: I have a love/hate relationship with baby books, and while they’ve come in handy for reassuring me about some things, I stopped reading them when I felt like a failure for not getting Isla to self settle at 8 weeks, so now I hate myself just a little bit whenever I reference these ‘one size fits all’ texts of doom.
At times, having a baby has such a mix of emotions. We’re talking happiness, sadness, drama, fear, laughs, tears – it’s like a 24/7 soap opera! So in honour of the dramatic highs and lows, I bring you…Isla’s very own Soap Awards!
- Best Newcomer: This one is obvious! The day Isla arrived on the scene was the best day of our lives and although she’s still new to the world, she’s grabbed it by the scruff of the neck and is a proper little character, so funny and bright!
- Best Comedy Performance: There are so many contenders for the funniest moment we’ve had over the past year. Isla farting very loudly in the middle of the doctors surgery is one, shouting “DADA!!” at a complete stranger in the middle of the swimming pool is another. But the winner goes to the moment Isla was having bouncy cuddles with her godmother minutes after having her milk. She was passed to godmother’s new boyfriend, who we were meeting for the first time and, well, you can imagine what happened next…😛 sorry Chris!
- Biggest Tearjerker: Luckily we’ve not had too many sad moments with Isla, yes there were tears shed at 3am when Isla had been awake and crying for hours due to colic. And when she cried having her vaccinations it was heartbreaking. But the Biggest Tearjerker was how upsetting it was when she had jaundice in her first 2 weeks. You can see how yellow she was in the photo, and although she didn’t need any treatment, having to take her to hospital for tests when she wasn’t even a week old was horrible. She was so tiny and I hated watching the doctors take blood from her tiny little body.
- Best Supporting Actor: I’ve been very lucky to have a great support system, even though our families live over 100 miles away. So honourable mentions go to both our dads, but hands down Hubs wins this accolade. He’s an absolutely brilliant daddy and husband and when I’ve had a crappy day, always makes me feel better with some reassuring words, cuddles, and of course supplying the wine when it’s been a real shitter of a day!
- Best Supporting Actresses: This one is a double award as both Hubs’ mum and my stepmum have been amazing. We’ve been blessed with plenty of knitted clothes, meals cooked and helpful advice and safe to say, Isla has been spoilt rotten (naturally!) Both Nanas have provided Isla with plenty of wisdom (who knew Alice the Camel had so many humps Nana Jacqui?!) and cuddles, we couldn’t ask for more. Honourable mentions also go to the lovely ladies at Isla’s nursery who have really helped her to thrive and become the happy, sociable little girl she is today.
- Best Soap: This one is for the brilliant ensemble cast, i.e. my wonderful mummy friends. Every new mummy needs mummy friends, ladies who know what you’re going through as they are right there themselves. The ones who you can ask questions about poo as though it’s normal, discuss weaning, compare sleepless nights with, and pitch in to help with explosive poonamis. So thank you ladies, you know who you are, I love you!
- Best Double Act: This award is for the lovely moment Isla climbed up the mirror in our bedroom and came face to face with her twin! She spent ages tapping her reflection and laughing at herself!
- Best Villain: We’re lucky that we’ve not had any reason to give anyone a real slap is past year. Minor offenders include the little sods who knocked Isla over during soft play, the three doctors who dismissed Isla’s eczema as dry skin, and all the people who have mistaken Isla for a boy (grrrr!) So the Best Villain award goes to colic for causing us all such pain and misery in Isla’s first few months of life. Eff you colic, you hurt my little girl, therefore I hate you!!
I had a slight MummyBrain Moment when buying the balloons for Isla’s birthday party…