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The bump, the toddler, and me 🤢😴😃😡😭

So here we are, pregnancy number 2, and as this will be our second and final baby, I’m determined to enjoy this pregnancy.

Except it’s really bloody hard to enjoy this one so far…

When I was pregnant with Isla, I was tired all the time and was constantly sick, morning, noon and night, right up until 21 weeks. But at least I was able to rest a bit and didn’t have a toddler to chase after. Without wanting to sound whiny, this pregnancy is so much harder than my first.

I’ve got the crushing exhaustion and sickness as before, but there’s a huge variety of food and drink that triggers the sickness this time – spicy food, rich food, any hot drinks, dairy (even butter on toast or milk on cereal is a no-no) – and I’ve also been blessed with insomnia this time. Because I’m so tired, I’m asleep by 9pm most nights, which in turn then means I’m awake at 3/4am and can’t sleep for love nor money, so I’m exhausted by 8pm, and so the cycle continues.

Whether Hubs agrees with this or not is debatable, but I didn’t really have mood swings with my first pregnancy, but this time around, my moods have been up and down more than a whore’s drawers, as my mum would have said. It’s not fun.

The positives? This time my skin and hair are less greasy and my hair feels thicker, which I didn’t have first time around.

I’m also so excited that we’re completing our family, and despite the icky symptoms, I am loving being pregnant again. Being able to feel the baby wriggling inside me is a magical feeling.’

And the biggest positive? Isla is so excited to be a big sister. She kisses my bump and says hello to the baby all the time, and has been telling everyone that “mummy has a baby in her tummy”. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to have a preference over whether she has a brother or sister, which is just as well since we’re not finding out what we’re having this time, but that’s another story…

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Ding ding, round 2…

Remember how, pretty much 18 months ago, I said I wouldn’t be having any more kids because of how tough my first pregnancy was and blah blah blah?

Yeah, that didn’t last.

Roughly about 6 months after I published that blog post, I woke up one morning and just decided I desperately wanted another baby. Like, right now. All of the reasons I said to stay on just the one child went right out of the window.

So Hubs and I talked and decided that as we had problems conceiving Isla, we should probably get a move on if we wanted to try again, as my PCOS would probably have gotten worse over the past 3 years. So I made an appointment with the lovely gynaecologist who helped us conceive Isla (with the right medication you understand, no funny business…) and he put me on Clomid, as he did before, and we started trying in May last year.

Only this time, Round 2 proved to be more problematic. The first three cycles were unsuccessful, and the multiple negative pregnancy tests I took each month were incredibly disheartening. I went back to my gynaecologist for various tests which showed I was ovulating, so I was given three more cycles of clomid and it was just a case of “keep going.” I started using a fertility app to track my cycles and scrutinised any signs that I might be ovulating each month, putting ridiculous pressure on us to “get it right”.

Two more unsuccessful cycles followed, and by October, after I got my period at work and had a little cry in the office toilets, I was beginning to panic. I’d already read a lot of websites about secondary infertility (yes, I know…) and was so worried it wouldn’t happen for us. I know how lucky we are to already have our beautiful girl, but I felt like a failure for not being able to give her a brother or sister.

So in November, we decided to get Hubs’ swimmers tested, which meant that we’d have to “abstain” for a week before the test. This week happened to fall during my fertile period, so in my eyes, November was a write-off to try properly. Or was it…?

On December 1st, my period was a day late. And I knew. I just knew. Just as had happened with Isla, the second we stopped “trying”, it happened. It just goes to show that putting too much pressure on yourself only makes it harder. If you’re struggling to conceive, take a break from it and try to relax, and maybe, just maybe…

So here we are, 20 weeks along with baby number 2. And remember I was concerned that being pregnant and coping with crushing exhaustion and constant sickness while running after a toddler would be incredibly tough? I was right. This pregnancy is much tougher than my first! But more on that later, I’ve rambled on long enough here!

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Our two year old

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Today is Isla’s second birthday, and as cliched as it sounds, I can’t believe how fast the time has gone and how quickly she’s growing up. Our laid back little red headed baby girl how grown into a laid back but spirited and cheeky little girl. She loves nursery and all her little friends, and she’s incredibly sociable.

 We’re amazed every day at how intelligent she is. She’s speaking in three or four word (mostly coherent!) sentences and understands everything we say. She loves reading and knows the names of most every day objects, the favourites are currently Piggy Wiggy, chocolate and dawberries (aka strawberries)! She’s also quite good at counting and knows her numbers, but will sometimes miss out 4 and 7 just to tease us!

We’ve found that she’s very bossy, and if she wants to read or have us read to her she’ll demand it. One of her favourite things to do in the morning is to have us all snuggle up in our bed (she’ll demand “mummy/daddy/Piggy/Isla sleep in bed!”) and we have to pretend to sleep and snore, just so she can jump on us and shout “wake up mummy/daddy!” She also loves her food and eats huge amounts considering how small she is.

I was worried that she was a late walker (she didn’t take her first unaided steps until she was 16 months old)  and this might be because of future mobility problems, but as it turns out, she was just lazy and once she discovered how much fun it is to be walking and stomping about, she is now making up for it! She runs around with the other kids and has no problems keeping up with them, and one of her favourite things to do is go swimming. She loves wriggling around in the water with her armbands on and will swim back and forth between Hubs and I if we stand 10ft apart.

So far, Isla very rarely throws tantrums and seems to have learnt that throwing a hissy fit doesn’t work on us and that if she throws a strop, she won’t get what she wants. If she throws a tantrum we simply walk away from her (only into the next room and if it’s safe!) and after a few minutes of whimpering, she comes in and climbs onto our laps for a cuddle, like she’s saying sorry, and then she forgets all about it. Gradually her hissy fits seem to be getting shorter so hopefully the terrible twos won’t be too traumatic!

Ok I’ll stop gushing now. I know we’re very lucky to have such a happy, placid little girl who’s a joy to be around (her grandparents’ words, not just ours!) and that if we are lucky enough to have another one, we’re very unlikely to be blessed with such a “good” baby next time around so we’re just enjoying it while it lasts!

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I wish it was me

My baby girl isn’t a baby any more – she’ll be two next month and I can’t believe how much she’s changed in these past few months.

Her vocabulary is brilliant as her teachers at nursery have commented on many times, she’s putting together 3 or 4 word sentences and understands everything we say. She also repeats everything we say so we have to be so careful now! Isla is great with colours and numbers, even if she does tell us every colour we show her is red sometimes, and on her occasion her number sequence sometimes goes 1,2,3,5,8! She loves animals too and will happily tell us the right names and sounds of every animal we see.

Her social skills are pretty great too, she’s very friendly with anyone she sees and will shout “hello!” at anyone who stops to see her, and she’s really good at sharing her toys.

Honestly, this blog post isn’t just a brag about how proud I am of my beautiful, cheeky daughter. It’s about how sad I am that all the credit for my little girl’s development isn’t down to me, it’s down to the lovely ladies at her nursery.

As we work full time, Isla is in nursery from 8.15 to 5.30 Monday to Thursday and til 5 on Friday, and I’m well aware that all of her skills and development is due to the amazing care she receives at nurseryas they’re the ones who are with her full time. We do our best to offer her as much of a well-rounded and educational but fun environment when we’re together at home, but I’m well aware that her teachers at nursery have worked wonders with her, and I wish it was me.

As we don’t see much of her grandparents due to living so far away from our families, every time we see them they gush at how well she’s doing, and I feel bad that I can’t say I’m the one who’s taught her to count or that cows say “moooo”. I know I’d’ve done my best, but had I been a stay at home mum, I’m sure I wouldn’t have done as good a job with her as her teachers have.

And while I know it can’t be helped, as Hubs and I both have to work, I wish I could be the one to teach Isla her ABCs and 1,2,3s. I take my hat off to the lovely ladies at nursery for being so wonderful with my baby girl, or toddler as I now have! Gulp.

  • I’m delighted that this blog post was published on The Motherload! You can read it here…

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Trusting your instincts

If I ever had a piece of advice for new mums (not that you’d need any more as I’m sure everyone and  their dogs have had their two penneth by now!) it would be to always follow your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t.

This week Isla has been really off since Sunday, refusing her food and just not being herself. Then on Monday morning she started being sick and pretty much didn’t stop for two days. She couldn’t even keep water down and by Tuesday lunchtime, she was so weak and lethargic she wasn’t showing any interest in playing, reading, dancing, anything.  She just wanted to cuddle, which isn’t like her at all, she’s normally too busy, even when she’s poorly she still wants to play but this time, nothing.


We took her to the doctor who just said it was a viral bug and to keep an eye on her. But by Tuesday her temperature had gone up and I was worried sick, and when she threw up again, she brought up bile and what looked like coffee granules. I rang NHS 111, who just told us to take her back to the doctor, but I just knew that she needed more help. She was getting weaker, wasn’t interested in anything and wasn’t saying a word (we normally can’t shut her up!) – this wasn’t our daughter at all. I rang the GP back, but there were no doctors available for two hours so I took her straight to A&E instead. This photo was taken in that evening and look how poorly she looks.

The doctors there were brilliant and gave her a good check over, and it turned out her blood sugar was low and she was dehydrated, so we were taken by ambulance to another hospital 20 miles away where there was a paediatric ward. She was diagnosed with gastroenteritis and put on an IV drip with anti sickness drugs, and we stayed in over night while the fluids did their work.

The difference in her when she woke up was remarkable. She woke up and started singing to her favourite cuddly toy Piggy Wiggy as she normally does, and soon after she was demanding her drink and breakfast. Once she had scoffed down some cornflakes and toast, she was back to her old self, playing with her toys and colouring, chattering non stop!


We were discharged that afternoon and now we’re back home, slowly building her back up with plenty of water and bland food.

I’m so glad I listened to my guts, the doctors at the hospital and the ambulance crew said we’d done exactly the right thing as we know our daughter best, and if we’re worried, it’s normally for a good reason.

Morale of the story? If you’re worried in any way, if your little one isn’t themselves, or if something is amiss, definitely get them checked out. One of the lovely doctors said they’d much rather see a poorly child and be able to sort them out with Calpol or fluids than parents leave it too late and things to have deteriorated too much.

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Fireman Sam double entendres 


I’ve covered the topic of double entendres in children’s TV before, and so far Fireman Sam seems to be filled with filth, as the above photo shows! Fireman Sam remains Isla’s favourite show so we have to sit through an episode or two most days, and the innuendos just keep on coming, no pun intended…

Station Officer Steele: Cridlington, you’re licking my strawberry sensation!

Station Officer Steele: Now listen Cridlington, I want to win, so you tiddle those winks like you’ve never tiddled before! Elvis: Yes sir, I’ll do my best tiddling ever!

Station Officer Steele: (talking about apple bobbing) You put your hands behind your back and do it with your mouth!

Ben: Stop for a minute Charlie… Charlie:  But it’s not quite in yet.

Bronwyn: there’s a storm in the way, I can tell when my seaweed gets damp.

Mike Flood: Help! My tool’s weighing me down!

James Jones: I’ve finished polishing the cucumbers Mrs Price!

Ellie Phillips: Shakey-shakey Sam? Fireman Sam: Shakey-shakey Ellie… 😏

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Going back to work


Now that Isla is 16 months old, we feel that the time is right for me to return to work. Frankly, we need the money, and I want to get as much out of my journalism career as I can before we have another baby (which we’re aiming for in a few years time when Isla is at school).

Part of me feels happy and excited about going back to work, it’ll feel like I’m getting part of my old self back and having some time to myself too, but the other part of me will miss Isla like mad, especially this first week.

We wouldn’t even be considering the idea of me going back to work if Isla didn’t love going to nursery so much (she’s going in full time), but as daft as it sounds, but I’m worried that as she’ll be seeing less of us that she’ll forget about us a bit and not see us as her primary carers any more. If she was being cared for by family as well I wouldn’t be worried, but as she’ll be seeing the ladies at her nursery all day, I’m worried she’ll miss them more than me. Is that crazy?

Also I’m worried about what impact it’ll have on her personality. Isla is a lovely, happy placid little girl who loves playing with other children, but I’m slightly concerned about her picking up bad habits from the other children and becoming territorial over her toys. I don’t ever want her to be known as the naughty child who can’t share.

I’d love to hear any stories from working mummies with littluns in full time nursery, the good, the bad and the ugly, about how their little ones got on, just to calm my nerves a bit!