When I had Isla, I swore I’d never become a typical “slummy mummy”, and that my life wouldn’t become completely babyfied. My baby would fit in around me, as well as me around her, and I’d still be me as much as possible.
Oh dear, how naive was I.
So far I’ve managed to avoid going out in public in my pyjamas and remember to brush my hair at least before we go out, but I have to admit to a few of the things I swore wouldn’t happen when I became a mum…
- Consider a trip to the supermarket as a big outing: Doing the food shop with a baby in tow can be at best, a bit hectic and at worst, a frigging nightmare. Last weeks trip to Lidl saw Isla grab my shopping list out of my hand and shove it in her mouth, then kick off both her shoes without me realising so I had to do two laps of the store to find them. I can’t complain really though, luckily Isla is happy to sit in the child trolley seat and watch the world go by, so food shopping isn’t too painful, but it still takes so long that I consider it our main outing for the day and don’t plan much else once it’s done
- Go more than 2 days without washing my hair: My hair tends to get oily the day after I wash it, which is when I tend to wear it in a ponytail then wash it either that night or the following morning. Nowadays though, as it takes over an hour to wash, dry and straighten my naturally frizzy hair, on supposed hair wash days my thought process goes like this: “does it look decent in a ponytail? Yes? Hair wash can wait another day then!”
- Do colouring in: I’ve become slightly addicted to an adult colouring app and happily spend my quiet time when Isla is napping with a cup of tea creating masterpieces like this bad boy. I was crap at colouring when I was a kid as I couldn’t stay inside the lines, but I’m quite a dab hand at this now!
- Wear make up only on special occasions: Pre baby I’d try to wear light make up (some mascara, lipgloss and a bit of foundation) most days, but now I only wear light make up for special occasions, i.e. a work day or if I’m going somewhere nice like out for lunch. I just don’t seem to have the time or the inclination to wear make up for a standard day. Full make up is reserved to nights out, so once every blue moon!
- Google pictures of poo: In my defence, I only did this when Isla was a few weeks old and her poos were all the colours of the rainbow, and I wanted to check that her poos were normal. They were.
- Talk about my baby constantly to my non-mummy friends: I’m sorry guys, I really don’t mean to do this. I’m aware that talking about breastfeeding, poo and weaning is deathly dull for you and I swore I wouldn’t be one of those mums who can only talk about their baby. It’s just that I’m so happy when I see another adult, I tend to spew all my thoughts onto them in one sitting. Plus I’m besotted with my little girl and can’t help but gush about her. So I applaud you for not sighing and rolling your eyes at me when I whip out my phone and say “oh my god, I have to show you this video of Isla!” every time I see you!
- Start a sentence with “well the baby book says…”: I have a love/hate relationship with baby books, and while they’ve come in handy for reassuring me about some things, I stopped reading them when I felt like a failure for not getting Isla to self settle at 8 weeks, so now I hate myself just a little bit whenever I reference these ‘one size fits all’ texts of doom.